Love and Comfort

Offering love and comfort after a tragedy can be difficult.  Many people don’t know what to say or do, so here are some helpful tips. *Do be there- often we assume that a person or persons going through trauma and tragedy need their space.  Most people need presence.  Friends, family, and acquaintances are welcome.  All the love and comfort you can offer is definitely welcome.  *Don’t compare, EVER- Don’t say, “I understand, I have been through this”.  Each trauma should be respected for its own personal uniqueness.  Comparisons can feel careless and useless to the person who is suffering trauma or tragedy.  *Do bring food – cooking or shopping is the last thing a person wants to do when they are suffering a personal trauma or situation.  *NEVER say, “You’ll get over it”.  There is no such thing as getting over it.  It takes time for people to process trauma and grieving, and there is no time limit.  *Be a builder. Let’s distinguish between a firefighter and a builder.  A firefighter drops everything to arrive in a moment of crisis.  Builders are there for months and sometimes years, so builders will stay with you through good times and bad helping you survive the world.  Very few people are capable of performing both roles.  *Don’t say, “Its all for the best” or try to make sense of what happened.  There is no formula to explain away tragic individual events.  We have a tendency to want to solve problems and repair brokenness. Allow nature and time to run its course and grant the sufferers of tragedy the dignity of their own process of grieving.  De Hart Plumbing Heating and Cooling, serving Manhattan Kansas, Junction City Kansas, Topeka Kansas and some surrounding areas.